10 Jan 12
Whoops, I had actually forgotten I was writing this but this is the last of my 2011 wrapup pieces, promise. I think it’s a common misnomer that critics enjoy trashing bad movies. It can be painful to sit through a bad film so - with the exception of “Season of the Witch” which I saw during a Nic Cage-a-thon - it’s not something I would subject myself to intentionally. I skip most things that seem like a complete waste of time so you wont find “Jack & Jill” or “Chipwrecked” or “The Zookeeper” on my list because I haven’t seen them and have no plans to. Below are the films that, despite their best intentions, just did not work for me in 2011.
1. This Must Be The Place (Paolo Sorrentino)
A complete disaster. Sorrentino’s last film “Il Divo” was a crazy rock ‘n roll mashup of Fellini and Scorsese. I was excited for his follow-up, an English language film starring Sean Penn as a Robert Smith-type aging rock star who goes on a road trip across America to find an ex-Nazi war criminal who imprisoned his father. At the time I thought, “this is so crazy it just might work!” but now I know that it’s the synopsis for one of the worst movies of all time. This makes it’s U.S. premiere at Sundance in a few days so consider this a warning.
2. Cars 2 (John Lasseter, Brad Lewis)
Painful. This film is everything Pixar had previously stood against - cash grab sequels, cheap pop culture gags, nonstop action in place of character development - which makes it like a knife in the back from your best friend. It’s all the more upsetting to see Pixar head and co-director Lasseter continuing to defend the film instead of just admitting he made a mistake. Critics don’t have it out for you, John. We’re just not going to tell you that you’ve made a great film unless it’s true.
3. Sucker Punch (Zach Snyder)
A confession that may get me kicked out of the movie nerd community: I actually like Zach Snyder! At the very least he’s one of the most distinctive genre filmmakers working today and I have a soft spot for his “Dawn Of The Dead” remake, “300” and (most of) “Watchmen.” But “Sucker Punch” is a different story all together. Poorly written, ugly, and uninvolving, Snyder is totally lost and mostly incompetent without existing source material to guide him. There are no stakes, no consequences and nothing invested. It’s worse than bad, it’s boring.
4. The Green Lantern (Martin Campbell)
Marvel has had a real resurgence in the last decade but I’ve always been a DC kid at heart. So it’s unfortunate that both DC and Warner Bros. (who’ve done such a great job with the Batman franchise) had a bomb this big on their hands. It was definitely risky material: a cocky lead character, an otherworldly setting and yet another clunky love story but somehow Marvel made all those obstacles work with “Thor.” But “Green Lantern,” with its cartoonish CG, bad acting and an overstuffed plot was not so lucky.
5. I Saw The Devil (Jee-woon Kim)
I’d heard quite a bit of good buzz about this Korean revenge thriller before I went to see it this time last year. But my hopes dissapated almost instantly as I watched this relentlessly stupid film. As I said in my review, imagine the (perfect) ending of “Se7en” stretched out for 2 1/2 hours and you’re somewhere close to the tedium of “I Saw The Devil.” I’m convinced that people assume that because they’re reading subtitles the film is somehow smarter than it is because if this had been made in English it would have been laughed out of theatres.
6. Season of the Witch (Dominic Sena)
Okay, this is cheating a bit since I knew this would be horrible. January release? Silly action/horror plot about hunting down witches? Check. Nic Cage? Check. Yes, this was going to be bad. But unfortunately it was - with the exception of Stephen Graham’s hilarious New Yawk accent - pretty blandly bad. Cage was very subdued here which is not why you go to see a bad Nic Cage film. Thankfully “Drive Angry 3D” a month later was pretty awesome.
7. Scream 4 (Wes Craven)
I loved the “Scream” films when they were released. The first one still stands up as a genre classic even if the sequels are a product of diminishing returns. But this was something else entirely. Original cast members are dragged back and given nothing to do while the new castmembers are an even greater waste of space. I found myself squirming through the film, not because of the violence, but because I felt bad for everyone involved.
8. Circumstance (Maryam Keshavarz)
The first and worst film I saw at Sundance last year, this Iranian drama actually took home the Audience Award at the fest. Though I suspect that had more to do with the films sympathetic backstory (the filmmakers had to escape Iran to make the film) than the film itself, where story threads disappear, slo-mo happens all too frequently and the film really just runs out of steam. “Circumstance” was marketed as some kind of steamy lesbian drama which, probably would have been more interesting.
9. The Hangover: Part 2 (Todd Phillips)
Take the first film, Find And Replace “Vegas” with “Thailand” and Delete all the jokes. (Sorry Zach.)
10. Twixt (Francis Ford Coppola)
I was at the world premiere at TIFF and did my best to be fair in my review of the film because I do like everyone involved but it was an extremely amateurish production. How the same filmmaker who made “The Godfather,” “Apocalypse Now” and even “Bram Stoker’s Dracula” was responsible for this I will never know.
Dishonorable Mention: Fright Night, The Sitter, Take This Waltz, Detachment, Hobo With A Shotgun.
circumstance
film
i saw the devil
listomania
scream 4
season of the witch
sucker punch
this must be the place
worst
the hangover: part ii
twixt
fright night
the sitter
take this waltz
detachment
hobo with a shotgun
cars
green lantern
30 May 11
It’s not fun to pile on. If you haven’t witnessed it for yourself, chances are you’ve heard “mixed things” (putting it kindly) about “The Hangover Part II” and I’ll confirm what you probably already know, it’s not a very good movie. I didn’t think the original film was a comedy classic or anything but it was at the least, very funny and a great launching pad for Zach Galifianakis (who I’d been loosely following since his VH1 days). The second movie is yes, a complete note-for-note recreation of the first film but darker and without most of the laughs. For starters, it’s almost impossible to imagine the laziness that went into crafting the screenplay that transplants every detail of the first film into the new one. We’re not watching these characters on a new adventure, we’re watching them relive the same nightmare in a new setting. It’s like the next episode of a terrible procedural show like C.S.I., except you just paid $13 to watch it.
Bradley Cooper (who I was a fan of in his “Alias” days) is now portraying a charisma-free asshole who I’m assuming is supposed to be the hero (to frat boys, maybe?) Ed Helms does the best he can with the material and Galifianakis gets off a dozen or so one-liners but they’re hardly worth sitting through the long stretches of the film that are devoid of laughs. Todd Phillips remade the first film as a darker, grosser version of itself but he seemed to forget that he was making a comedy wherein it’s supposed to be funny. I’m not sure anyone who is interested in this film can be dissuaded from seeing it and while it’s not a terrible, excruciating experience it’s an ugly, lazy, mostly unfunny one. If you watched the trailer and wondered why they weren’t showing any of the funny parts, it’s because there really weren’t any in the film. But don’t listen to me, Videogum really says it best.
film
review
the hangover: part II
2 May 11
Summer Movie Season is once again upon us which means for the next 3 months multiplexes will be pummeled with all manner of potential blockbusters. Some of these films I couldn’t be less interested in (“Transformers 3” “Pirates of the Carribbean 4” etc.), some I’m really looking forward to, while some I’m more curious about than anticipating. Alright, May to August here we go!
1. The Tree Of Life (May 27)
Not exactly what you think of when you think of Summer Movie Season but it could end up being a smart bit of counter programming for Fox Searchlight. Terrence Malick’s long in-the-works drama (it was on my Most Anticipated list in January of 2010) stars Brad Pitt, Sean Penn and at least one dinosaur. Watch the trailer.
2. Super 8 (June 10)
J.J. Abrams super secretive tribute to Amblin-era Spielberg. All signs are pointing towards this being the one Summer Blockbuster you wont feel guilty about rewatching come fall. Watch the trailer.
3. Bridesmaids (May 13)
Paul Feig (“Freaks & Geeks”) directed, Judd Apatow produced (duh), Kristen Wiig co-scripted/starring comedy that got huge buzz from SXSW. I think this is going to be great. Watch the trailer.
4. Beginners(June 3)
Mike Mills semi-autobiographical indie dramedy about a father (Christopher Plummer) coming out to his adult son (Ewan Mcgregor) picked up rave reviews at TIFF and SXSW film festivals. Watch the trailer.
5. Harry Potter & The Deathly Hallows Part II (July 15)
The final chapter in the seemingly never-ending Harry Potter series. The films have gotten increasingly interesting as they’ve gotten more adult, and this one should have the one thing all the other installments lacked: a proper ending. Watch the trailer.
6. Haywire (Unknown)
If Steven Soderbergh is true to his word that means he’s only 5 films away from retirement. Regardless of his hits and misses, I always look forward to what he’s doing next and this looks to be something in the fun “Out Of Sight” mode he hasn’t revisited in a while.
7. Cowboys & Aliens (July 29)
I wasn’t the world’s biggest “Iron Man” fan but I recognized it as a pretty good superhero film, (the stuff with RDJ was great, everything that happens after he puts on the suit = Zzzzzzz), but I give director Jon Favreau credit for knowing just how to appeal to fanboys. Watch the trailer.
8. X-Men: First Class (June 3)
I wouldn’t have been interested in this film at all were it not for Matthew Vaughn (“Kick Ass”) in the director’s chair. But the films 60s setting, promising cast and offbeat director made me think this could be something different. However, some of the images from the film have made me a bit worried. Watch the trailer.
9. One Day(August 19)
I don’t know what it is about Anne Hathaway but ever since “Rachel Getting Married” I am drawn to her movies. Even when they are “Love & Other Drugs.” This time she stars in a romantic drama from the director of “An Education” that checks in on a couple on the same day every year for 20 years. Bad wigs ensue. Watch the trailer.
10. The Hangover Part II(May 26)
I liked “The Hangover” but I didn’t think it was nearly as funny as most people seemed to think it was. I was thrilled to see Zach Galifianakis get a launching pad but the film itself was a mixed bag. Regardless of if the sequel is any good, it will make a billion dollars. Watch the trailer.
11./12./13. Thor/Green Lantern/Captain America: The First Avenger (May 6/June 17/July 22)
The B-Team. While I’m still skeptical of these films as I’m getting pretty exhausted of the superhero origin story, I need something to tide me over until the main attractions next year: “The Dark Knight Rises,” “The Amazing Spider-Man,” “The Man Of Steel,” and “The Avengers.” Now that’s going to be a Summer. (Technically Superman opens in the Fall, whatever.) Watch the trailer(s): [T] [GL] [CA]
Also: 30 Minutes Or Less, Cars 2,Crazy Stupid Love, Horrible Bosses, Midnight In Paris.
beginners
bridesmaids
captain america
cowboys & aliens
film
green lantern
harry potter
haywire
listomania
one day
super 8
the hangover: part II
the tree of life
thor
x-men: first class
